Navigating Overwhelm: Leading to Resilience

Finding Structure in Life's Chaos

In the whirlwind of life’s challenges, I’ve found myself navigating overwhelm more times than I can count. From juggling responsibilities to managing expectations, I’ve learned valuable lessons that I hope will resonate with anyone facing similar struggles.

I often feel like I’m spinning too many plates, struggling with the gap between expectation and reality.

Take this example: I planned an elaborate charcuterie cheese board for friends visiting - it had to look perfect! It took far longer than expected, leaving me scrambling to finish other preparations. While my back was turned, my mischievous Shiba seized the opportunity to devour all the meats from the board. The disappointment and frustration swung my mood for the rest of the evening, overshadowing what should have been a joyous gathering.

Living in a fantasy world and over planning took over in nearly everything I would do, even from a young age my mum used to call it “The Wonderful World of Sam”. However, growing into adulthood, it was tarnishing reality real bad. I needed to find ways to manage overwhelm effectively without letting it derail my progress or relationships. It was about learning to balance priorities, set realistic expectations, and focus on what truly matters.

Did You Know? Dr Julie Smith hightlights that trying to do too much can lead to overwhelm, causing friction between all areas of your life. When juggling multiple responsibilities, even small setbacks can feel like your world is crumbling. The key is to adjust your expectations to a suitable level, enabling you to achieve success and maintain habits that stick. By setting realistic goals, you're more likely to find balance and avoid the feeling that everything is falling apart when things don't go as planned. Remember, managing expectations isn't about lowering your ambitions, but rather about creating a sustainable approach to your goals that allows for growth without burnout.

Here’s how I tackled overwhelm using structured strategies inspired by personal experience, professional skills as a Product Manager, and insights from self-help resources:

1. Strategic Planning

Crafting a vision for your future happiness and breaking it down into manageable steps.

• Visualise Happiness in 1-3-5 Years: Instead of asking myself “Where do you see yourself in 1-3-5 years?”, I reframed it as “What does happiness look like for you in 1-3-5 years?” This shift helped me focus on actions that contribute to long-term fulfillment.

• Quarterly Goals: Break down your vision into quarterly goals. These are flexible milestones that guide you toward your happiness without feeling rigid or overwhelming.

2. Prioritisation Techniques

Organising your tasks and goals to focus on what truly matters.

• Break into Focus Areas: Identify key areas of life: relationships, career, health, family, etc and write them down. When feeling overwhelmed, revisit these focus areas to realign priorities.

• Impact vs Effort (Eisenhower Matrix): Start with tasks that bring high impact with low effort. Small wins build momentum and make larger goals feel achievable - and avoid the high effort, low impact, these would get you to where you want and will just stress you out.

• Now/Next/Later Framework: Categorise tasks into Now (Quick wins), Next (Momentum Builders), and Later (Transformational) priorities. This structure reduces decision fatigue and provides clarity.

3. Risk Assessment

Balancing expectations with reality to avoid disappointment and stress.

• Happiness Formula: Like I said above, it’s important you find a balance between expectation and reality otherwise you are setting yourself up for failure, so I use this formula:

• By managing expectations and buffering time/effort estimates, you can reduce disappointment.

• Buffer Time: Overestimate how long tasks will take so you’re less likely to feel rushed or overwhelmed when things don’t go as planned.

4. Execution Strategy

Implementing the principles of essentialism to do less, but better.

Greg McKeown’s Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less emphasises focusing only on what truly matters. Execution isn’t about doing more—it’s about doing better:

• Eliminate non-essential tasks (high effort, low impact).

• Dedicate time blocks for deep work without interruptions (setting boundaries to allow yourself to focus… more on that later).

• Celebrate progress instead of perfection - something I put myself down on all the time, but always remind yourself how far you’ve come.

Top Tip: Utilise the Pareto 80/20 Principle to maximise your productivity. This rule suggests that 80% of results often come from 20% of efforts, so focus on the tasks that yield the most impact. By applying this principle, you can streamline your priorities, ensuring that you're dedicating your energy to what truly matters - whether it's advancing your career, nurturing relationships, or improving your well-being. This strategic approach helps you achieve more with less effort, reducing overwhelm and enhancing your overall sense of fulfillment.

5. Communication

Leveraging your support network and setting healthy boundaries.

• Reaching Out: Don’t hesitate to ask for help from friends or loved ones. Whether it’s a video chat or a supportive ear, reaching out can lighten your load.

• Setting Boundaries: Communicate your needs clearly. For example, during a stressful interview process, I told friends I wouldn’t provide updates until I received an offer because frequent check-ins were overwhelming me emotionally. True friends will respect your boundaries.

6. Managing Overwhelm

Practical tips and tools to keep your mind clear and focused.

• Write down thoughts to clear mental clutter.

• Use tools like the Eisenhower Matrix to prioritise urgent vs important tasks.

• Break large projects into smaller steps.

• Practice saying “no” when commitments threaten your mental well-being.

• Disconnect from digital distractions and take breaks.

By implementing these strategies:

1. I’ve learned to adapt when plans go awry, eg. like laughing off the Shiba incident instead of letting it ruin my evening.

2. My focus has shifted from perfectionism to prioritising what truly matters, whether it’s relationships or personal growth.

3. Stress levels have decreased as I’ve embraced realistic expectations and structured timelines.

4. Communication has strengthened my relationships, allowing me to maintain boundaries while keeping support networks.

Having structure doesn’t mean rigidity, it means flexibility within a framework that helps you stay grounded even when life feels chaotic.

Overwhelm is inevitable at times but manageable with the right tools and mindset. Whether it’s setting boundaries, prioritising tasks using frameworks like Now/Next/Later or Eisenhower Matrix, or simply pausing to breathe - you can navigate life’s chaos with resilience and clarity.

If you’re motivated by structure or want to tame the chaos in your life, try any of these strategies! I’d love to hear how you cope with overwhelming situations, share your thoughts in the comments or subscribe for more weekly insights on self-improvement.

In a while, crocodile! 🐊