Embracing Progress Over Perfection During Life's Messy Moments
Celebrating the small wins and giving self-compassion to help you breathe again
After experiencing some life-altering events in recent years: moving house, a breakup, job loss, and ongoing mental health challenges. These experiences have shaped my approach to resilience and self-care. Writing this series is my way of opening up about the messy, imperfect journey of growth, in the hope that my honesty helps others feel less alone. This week, I’m reflecting on the chaos of home renovations, a busy social life, and the overwhelm that comes when it feels like everything is spiraling out of control.
Currently, I’m juggling home improvements with a packed social calendar, and as you might imagine, my house is an absolute mess. Boxes, misplaced items, and general disarray are everywhere. As someone who identifies as a “clean freak,” this environment is a significant source of stress for me. Losing important items or constantly stepping over piles can make everyday life feel unmanageable, and it’s taken a toll on my mood and focus.
For me, cleaning is more than just a chore, it’s a stress reliever. When my mind is busy, tidying up helps me regain a sense of control. But when life gets hectic, and cleaning falls by the wayside, I notice myself becoming more irritable and anxious.
Studies have shown that a cluttered environment can increase cortisol levels, the stress hormone, and make it harder to concentrate or relax.
Feeling out of control about your space is a common trigger for emotional distress, and it’s something many of us experience during busy or transitional periods.
Over the past few weeks, I haven’t felt as present or grounded as I’d like. But I’ve come to realise that it’s completely normal, and even healthy to feel overwhelmed during times of change. In fact, research suggests that acknowledging stress and giving yourself permission to feel it can actually reduce its negative impact and help you recover more quickly. Recognising this has helped me accept that I don’t need to have everything under control all the time, and that it’s okay to take a step back.
So, how have I been coping? Here are some strategies that have made a difference:
Break It Down: Tackling a massive mess can feel impossible, so I focus on one small area at a timeL a corner, a drawer, or a shelf. This approach is backed by psychology: breaking tasks into manageable chunks reduces overwhelm and increases the likelihood of completion.
Get Organised: I’ve started investing in organisers and even turned to AI for advice on how to best arrange my cupboards. AI can be a surprisingly helpful ally in the battle against clutter.
Use Containers: I grab a laundry basket or storage box and go room to room, collecting items that belong in a specific place. This makes the process less daunting and helps me see progress quickly.
Music or Podcasts: Putting on something I enjoy makes cleaning feel less like a chore and more like a break. In fact, it can improve mood and make repetitive tasks more enjoyable.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledging progress, no matter how small, boosts motivation and mood. Celebrating small achievements can increase feelings of competence and encourage continued effort.
It’s also important to remember that renovations mean temporary mess. Accepting this is crucial for mental well-being. I’ve shifted my mindset from perfection to progress, from fantasy to realism. This shift has helped me move away from negative thoughts and embrace a more positive outlook. Setting small daily goals, even just tidying for 10 minutes, and it’s created momentum and helps me feel more in control. On days I have a bit more time to do chores, after 30 minutes of focus, I reward myself with a quick break, a chat with a friend, or playtime with my dog. These little rewards not only break up the task but also reduce anxiety and build positive habits.
Overall, I still slip into old habits and sometimes expect too much of myself. But this experience is a reminder that things don’t have to be perfect to feel manageable. I want to encourage you to embrace the journey of regaining control, little by little. Remember, even in the mess, you’re making progress and that’s something worth celebrating. In a while, crocodile. 🐊